A Feeling of Longing for Home

A visit to San Antonio in 1952 during Easter vacation at Nane's house~



Ever have the feeling of being so alone it almost makes you feel sad or like crying?

There are days, as one gets older when I miss "home." I had this feeling of longing for home, and then, thought, "Wait a second, am I not home already where I am?"

Then I realized it was the spiritual sense of that home I left a long time ago before I was born.

Plain and simple. The Spirit comforts me, sustains me, and gives me peace. But wouldn't it be nice to just see through some of this earth stuff and get that glimpse heavenward?

I go there in my dreams, so that will have to be good enough. Otherwise I may be reluctant to see it in my awake state. I must be patience and enjoy NOW and appreciate the present. So it goes. It is sometimes ike missing my loved ones who have gone to the other side. I feel the Comforter and can bear through it valiantly.

One of my cousins called me, Connie from San Antonio today. She sounded a bit depressed and as she talked for a while, she expressed how much she missed her mother who passed away in 2009. She admitted they had a difficult relationship, but even so, she loved her mother and was missing her. I know how she feels, like an orphan, perhaps.

It seemed we as children don't realize when our parents are alive, just how much they really mean to us, until we lose them. I always let my parents know how I felt about them in my letters, or whenever I saw them for visits. It was always a joy to be with them and enjoy their company, a treasure. My only regret is that I didn't get to see them more often. I am fortunate to have most of my children close by.

I miss those who are farther away, however. Seeing them once a year is not enough. I wish many times I had the means to go see them more often.

It is not easy to live away from your grandparents, like I had to when I was growing up and lived in Chicago. I am grateful my grandmother, Anita came to see us, and moved where we lived whenever we moved to a new place. Our family was able to go for a two week visit once a year around Easter break to see our relatives in San Antonio.